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Conference Etiquette Article

As requested, I'm reprinting my article entitled "EXCUSE ME? WHILE YOU'RE, UM, 'POWDERING YOUR NOSE,' WOULD YOU MIND LOOKING AT MY MANUSCRIPT? or What Not to Say at a Writer's Conference: A Mini-Manual on Conference Etiquette," here! This article has made the rounds of various regional newsletters and was originally published in Smart Writers Journal. As an attendee at many conferences now—and after having served as a member of the faculty on a number of conferences, too—I have compiled what I think are the most useful things to remember on conference day! Enjoy!
~~Candie

"EXCUSE ME? WHILE YOU'RE, UM, 'POWDERING YOUR NOSE,' WOULD YOU MIND LOOKING AT MY MANUSCRIPT?" or What Not to Say at a Writer's Conference: A Mini-Manual on Conference Etiquette

By Candie Moonshower

Writer's conferences are wonderful ways to connect with other writers and published authors and offer rare opportunities for meeting agents and editors. From regional conferences sponsored by universities, local writing groups, or the regional arms of the big writers' organizations like the Society of Children's Book Writers and Illustrators (SCBWI) or Romance Writers of America (RWA), to the big yearly wing-dings, often located in New York City or Los Angeles, conferences can be a powerful tool for self-education and self-promotion. But what to expect and how to act at a conference can be a mystery to a writer who has never attended one.

Before I attended my first conference, I wondered how it would all go, whom I might meet, and, quite honestly, how I should present myself. I remember wishing there was a booklet I could read on "conference etiquette." I decided my best course of action was to listen and remain unnoticed. This isn't a bad way to start, but as a veteran of more than a dozen conferences now, I can tell you that a conference is as good a place as any to get noticed and not be judged harshly for trying. Just don't slide your manuscript under the bathroom stall of Jane Q. Agent as she, umm, powders her nose!

Here are a few things you can do to get off on the right foot at a conference:

1. If you have any kind of communication with the conference director, volunteer ahead of time to provide something at the conference, like drinks or cookies, or to lead a critique group, or to sign people in, or sell tee-shirts. Don't be shy! Volunteering is a great way to feel less like a stranger and more like an integral part of the event. Often, you will be given a discount towards the next year's conference or your society's membership if you volunteer to help. And even without that perk, when you involve yourself, you tend to get more out of the occasion.

2. Get a good night's sleep the night before. Don't go with a hangover. I'm not being facetious here. It doesn't look good when you sleep through the workshops. And it's a waste of your hard-earned money.

3. Wear comfortable clothes. Don't overdress. The day or days will be long, and pantyhose or heels or a suit and tie will start to feel confining after the first couple of hours. But don't underdress, either. No one wants to see your knees poking out of your most comfortable jeans. It's a sight an editor or agent might never be able to forget.

4. Take a pen and notebook. Many conferences provide a packet with the schedule, a pen, paper, nametags and assorted freebies like brochures and bookmarks, but don't count on it. Make like a Boy Scout and be prepared.

5. Have some business cards printed up ahead of time. This may seem pretentious, especially if you're not yet a published writer, but unless you have "John Q. Author, The Next Stephen King!" printed on the cards, most folks will appreciate that they don't have to take the time to write down your name and e-mail address or phone number.

6. Take your open mind. Conferences draw a wide variety of folks. You never know who might be sitting next to you in a workshop or over lunch.

Most conferences schedule a series of workshops interspersed with free time and a meal or two for socializing and panel discussions with the conference "faculty." Often, there is time set aside for group critiques, which are wonderful opportunities to meet other writers. Many conferences offer specific scheduled, individual critiques with an author, illustrator, agent or editor who has been given a partial of your work to read or examine before the conference. Each of these activities presents unique opportunities for you, the writer, to expand your knowledge and broaden your horizons. How to make the most of them? Preparation.

Usually, at the time that you sign up and pay for a conference, you are provided with a brochure listing the various workshops available. At a daylong conference, there could be up to three workshops opportunities, and three to four choices at each workshop time. Before the day of the conference, look over the list of workshops and the list of speakers for each one. Naturally, if you're an illustrator, you might not be interested in hearing a wonderful author like Sid Fleischman and his fascinating talk, "All my Writing Secrets in 60 Minutes." And the same holds true for a writer, who will probably forego a session lead by an illustrator in favor of one in which a publicist tells how to short circuit the steps to finding an agent or editor.

Choose the workshops you will attend based on your level of writing expertise, areas of specific interest and publishing experience. People "in the know"—multi-published authors, agents, and editors from successful publishing houses—moderate these workshops, and they are there to give you specific and straightforward information about their knowledge and experience in the business. After you've decided which workshops you'll attend, maximize your experience in the following ways:

1. Listen. To the speaker, that is. Don't think the speaker won't notice the headphones plugged into the iPod in your book bag. And don't whisper to your long-lost friend while the speaker is doing her thing. The speaker, whether an author, editor, agent or publicist, has pearls of wisdom to impart to you, most of which you'll find helpful. Advice I heard at a workshop many years ago is still at the top of my checklist when I edit my manuscripts.

2. Take notes. Take more notes. Don't play tic-tac-toe with your neighbor.

3. Ask questions. Wait until the speaker invites questions, and then ask them. But don't be the attendee who takes over the workshop with questions that are really only veiled attempts to sell your manuscript. People will roll their eyes at you behind your back.

4. Introduce yourself to the speaker after the workshop—they expect you to! But don't shove your 300-page manuscript into their hands and beg them to read your work, which is in the same genre and style as his works, of course. Simply introduce yourself and thank him for speaking. Mention one of his books you enjoyed reading.

5. Introduce yourself to those writers sitting around you in the workshop. (Before or after the workshop that is! See above about listening to the speaker.) You'll be surprised at who might turn out to be a published author! Ask folks about their work. We all want to talk about our work. I've made dozens of great friends at workshops and conferences

6. Exchange cards, and if you haven't had time to have some cards made, exchange e-mail addresses or telephone numbers.

One of the greatest opportunities to learn at a conference is when individual critique sessions are offered. When you register and pay for a conference, the information provided to you will let you know if individual critiques are available. You will be asked to send, several weeks in advance of the conference, a synopsis and the first chapter or so of your manuscript, along with a check. Although these critiques can be costly (for example, $35.00 for 15 minutes or so of undivided attention), consider it an investment in your writing future. How many times does a writer living in the South or Midwest—or, in fact, anywhere that's not the "East Coast" or the "West Coast"—have a chance to meet a bona fide editor or agent? Here's your opportunity. How to make the most of it?

1. Prepare your manuscript partial with a great deal of care. Just because you are paying to have your manuscript critiqued does not give you the freedom to be lazy. Remember who is reading the manuscript! I have a couple of friends who negotiated contracts with publishers based on their individual critique sessions at regional conferences. Don't blow it by submitting less-than-perfect work.

2. Wait until your scheduled meeting time to talk over your manuscript with the person who took on the job of reviewing it. Remember that your manuscript is not the only one she has read. Don't confuse or irritate her by attempting to discuss it over lunch or, heaven forbid, in the bathroom!

3. When the hallowed moment arrives, be yourself. Don't fawn. Don't brag. And don't beg. It doesn't look good for you. But don't apologize, either. Every writer has to start somewhere, and the helpful and constructive criticism you are receiving may prove invaluable when you start the revision process.

4. Leave your ego at home. You've paid for honesty. Take it. Say thank you. Jump for joy in the parking lot. Or cry when you get home. Better yet, take it all in stride. Remember how many times some of the classics of great literature were rejected before they were finally published.

5. Decide what you can learn from the honest assessment of a professional. Remember that this person does not know the REAL you! He is only judging the quality and appeal of the work you offered for critique. And isn't that what you paid for? Take his advice, and if it feels good, run with it!

Conference etiquette is a simple matter of putting your best face forward. And an important component of attending a conference is having fun. Of all the conferences I've attended—including the ones where I've been "the speaker"— the thing I've taken home with me every time are the smiles! I enjoy attending and learning, but I love the memories of the fun I've had hanging out with other writers and illustrators. Don't neglect this aspect of conference-going! If you make a few minor preparations and remember a few simple rules, your conference experience will be one you recall with a smile.